Thursday, November 1, 2007

T.G.H.O.

Thank God Halloween's OVER!!

(background information: Halloween is out of control in our neighborhood - cops directing traffic, parked cars lining both sides of the street, constant stream of people from 5:30 - 9:30, $40 worth of candy handed out in an hour and a half.)

A proposal was submitted to the Armstrong Social Committee that Halloween '07 go un-acknowledged by the occupants at location #2029. However, that suggestion was vetoed by the committee chairman, and the adopted resolution was to not only require occupants to stand outside and hand out candy but also to require the donning of costumes during participation. A happy attitude about this activity was suggested but, at the risk of mutiny by the committee member, was not enforced.

The chairman selected a "hunting" costume.


The committe member reluctantly chose "hillbilly / farmer-ish attire" costume.


Kip wore a very realistic "dog with Halloween bandana" costume.


The committee member has already declared that new Halloween '08 by-laws will be enforced. The restrictions will outline the persons eligible to receive candy as per the following:

Bylaw #1 - You are ineligible for candy if you're so young you don’t even have teeth to chew the candy. I mean, you're cute and all in your itty-bitty costume, but I'm not fooled...this candy is for your parents.
Bylaw #2 - You are ineligible for candy if you're old enough to be "too cool" to wear a costume but still immature enough to have the nerve to come up in regular clothes and ask for candy. You're a punk...use your allowance and buy your own damn candy.

And, as an addendum to the Halloween '08 covenant, the following email will be sent out on Nov 1st:

Dear co-workers that buy way, way too much candy and then come dump all 16 pounds of leftovers on the table in the breakroom because you don't want to be tempted by it at your own house but somehow feel that it's okay if the rest of us are tempted by it: YOU SUCK.


(DISCLAIMER: The committee member would like to state for the record that she is not a total Halloween Scrooge. She rather enjoys work-related Halloween activities and in fact, planned a very well-received departmental Halloween party / costume contest this year. Additionally, she enjoys the neighborhood door-knocking participants who (1) are appropriately aged and adorned (2) are chaperoned by attentive parents and (3) display the ability to say or be prompted by aforementioned attentive parent to say both "Trick-or-Treat" and "Thank You".)

Until next year....T!G!H!O!

No comments: